Title: To Make You Feel My Love Author: Denise Morgen Email: meadora@hotmail.com Disclaimer: The characters of Fox Mulder, Dana Scully, and A.D. Skinner are the property of Chris Carter, Fox and 1013 productions. I don't claim them and I'm not making any money from their brief use so please don't sue me. The song "To Make You Feel My Love" is also used without the artist's consent or knowledge but I don't know who owns so I can't name them personally. Rating: PG-13 for mild language Category: MSR, Songfic Summary: Scully's engaged, will Mulder tell her how he feels before it's too late? Spoilers: vague references to FTF, Fire, One Breath, etc...to vague to really notice. Feedback is grounds for canonization in my version of reality, so be a saint! meadora@hotmail.com Dedicated to my beloved sister, Carissa: thanks for listening to me babble... To Make You Feel My Love By Denise Morgen Special Agent Dana Scully shook the melting snow from her hair as she surveyed the crowded bar from the doorway. she thought ruefully as she removed her coat. She readjusted her grip on her coat and then proceed to squeeze her way through the unfamiliar bar. Even though it was only minutes from her house Scully had never been here before. As a rule she tried to avoid any place that specialized in open-mike nights and kareoke, but tonight she needed a drink and this was the only place she could find open. Scully sank gratefully into what appeared to be the sole remaining seat in the house and flagged down the bartender for a medori sour. She sipped quietly on her neon green drink and tried to unwind as the sweet taste of watermelon slid past her tongue. she thought as she propped her elbow up on the counter and leaned her head wearily down into her palm. She thought angrily. [Well, what did you expect him to do?] her conscience asked reasonably [Profess his undying love and beg you to reconsider? If he felt that way about you, surely he would've done something about it by now! Nobody can say Mulder's shy around women!] She knew that was true, but she had hoped... she shook her head regretfully and flashed back to the incident at the root of all her distress. The day had begun normal enough. She arrived at her usual time to find Mulder buried in a case file and a cup of coffee waiting for her on her 'desk'. she thought with a sigh. Mulder looked up at the small sound inquiringly. "You all right, Scully?" "I'm fine, Mulder." "If I had a dime for every time you said that..." he said with a chuckle as he bent once again to his paperwork. "New case?" She said inquiringly as she situated herself for the morning. "Just some research on some old files. You never know WHAT you'll find in these folders." He said as he wiggled his eyebrows at her suggestively. she thought as she cocked an eyebrow disapprovingly. He smiled happily at her silent response and returned to his paperwork. "Scully, did you get the results back from the Johnson autopsy yet?" "As we expected the findings were inconclusive. I'm having another batch of tests run, the results should be in by this afternoon. And I'm marrying Wes Carver in two months," she said casually. Mulder froze with a sunflower seed halfway to his mouth and turned his head slowly to look at her. "Was that to make sure I was actually paying attention or are you being serious?" "I was being serious." She said as she expectantly watched his face. Something like pain flashed briefly in his eyes and a small tick tugged lightly at the corner of his mouth before his expression evened out. He got up from his desk and she felt a quick flash of hope as he moved around her table to stand in front of her . But that hope was quickly dashed as he took her into a warm friendly hug and murmured a heartfelt "Congratulations" in her ear. "No one deserves happiness like you do, Scully." He said with a smile as he released her. "Wes is one lucky guy. I'm assuming he gave you a ring?" "Thank you," she stammered as she dug in her coat pocket for the ring Wes had given her last night. She pulled out the diamond solitaire and handed it to Mulder. "it's good of you to say so." Mulder studied the solitaire intently as he let out a low whistle. "Wow, he sure went all out didn't he? Why aren't you wearing it?" "Well technically I haven't answered him yet, but I wanted to tell you before I went parading around the office with it." she thought hopefully. The pain was back in his eyes for an instant before he once again submerged it and said cordially, "That was nice of you, Scully. May I?" he said as he gestured to her hand with the ring. She swallowed past a lump in her throat and replied, "Of course." Mulder took her hand in his and slid the ring slowly onto her finger. His thumb caressed the top of her hand softly as he said in a broken whisper. "Perfect fit." A stern voice broke into their reverie, "Is there something I need to know about here, Agents?" Mulder and Scully jumped apart nervously. "Sir," Mulder said as he cleared his throat, "we didn't here you come in!" "Obviously." Skinner said dryly as he noted the distress on his agents' faces with humor. He thought in amusement when simultaneously the both of them jerked to attention and proceeded to protest strenuously in harmony. "Sir, this isn't what you think-" "It's not what it looks like-" They both broke off at the same time and glanced at each other before Mulder turned to the A.D. "Sir, Agent Scully was just telling me about her engagement to Dr. Carver." "Oh," The A.D. said, feeling somewhat disappointed. "Well then, Agent Scully, I suppose congratulations are in order." "Thank you, Sir." Scully said a little dejectedly. "Is there something we can do for you, Sir?" Mulder said, eager to turn the topic back to work. Skinner thought resignedly. "Yes," he said, fighting to keep his disappointment from showing on his face, "I was wondering if you planned on bringing me the report on the Johnson case sometime this fiscal year." He said sarcastically. "We apologize for the delay, Sir." Scully said. "We're waiting on the final lab results. They should be here by the end of the day. After all Sir," she said matter-of-factly, "we assumed you'd disapprove of an incomplete report." Skinner chuckled in his head. Instead of voicing his thoughts he scowled at her and said in his best 'position of authority' voice: "That's ONE assumption you would be correct at. I expect it on my desk by C.O.B. Do you understand that, Agents?" "Yes, Sir." They said in chorus. "Good." Skinner said abruptly as he turned and walked out the door. Scully released the breath she didn't realize she'd been holding and dropped into her chair with a plop. "We-assumed-you'd-disapprove-of-an-incomplete-report" Mulder mimicked in an high girlie voice with a grin as he returned to his desk. "Feeling suicidal today, Scully?" "Shut up, Mulder." She muttered playfully as she began her own paperwork. Scully shook her head to bring herself back to the present. The rest of the day had passed disappointingly uneventfully. Mulder spent all day acting as if her revelation was scarcely noteworthy and she couldn't help but wonder if she'd completely over-rated her importance to him. She knocked back the rest of her drink and grimaced of disgust. Meeting Wes Carver had seemed like the best thing that had happened to her in years. They had bumped into each other while attending an abnormal pathology seminar at Quantico and he'd invited her to drinks afterwards. Surprisingly they hit it off immediately, quickly finding numerous common interests and tastes. It was so refreshing to be able to have a conversation with a man that didn't involve world-wide government conspiracies, crazy theories, and E.B.E.'s. She'd almost forgotten what it was like to feel 'normal'. And how much more normal can you get than having dinner with an attractive man who finds you equally attractive and desirable? At the same time, she couldn't help but feel it was a little too normal, and sometimes a little boring. she thought By this time the waitress had moved down to her end of the bar so Scully ordered another drink. Two women suddenly pushed their way to the counter by her side. "Linette!" One of the girls cried out to the bartender. "Shari, Kate!" the bartender Linette said as she came over. "What brings you here on this frosty Washington night?" "Oh right," the girl identified as Shari laughed. "Pretend like you didn't know! Like any of us would miss one of Fox's performances! I'm suffering withdrawal from him being on a case last week!" Dana's ears perked up when she heard her partner's name. Just then the other girl, Kate, spoke up. "You like to live dangerously, don't you Shari? You know he'll skin you alive if he hears you call him 'Fox'." "I know," Shari said with a pout. "But it just fits him sooo much better than 'Mulder'." The other two women laughed and Scully stopped breathing in shock. "Down girl!" Kate choked out through her laughter, "You know good and well that boy is so taken!" Scully thought as she fought down her distress. Oblivious to the distress of the woman beside her Shari continued. "Taken! Right! That stupid bitch doesn't deserve him! All she does is break his heart! He wouldn't come here and sing like he does if he was happy!" "Watch it!" Linette warned, "He'd really never forgive you if he heard you talking about his precious Dana that way!" Scully choked mid-swallow and spewed most of her drink on the counter in front of her. "Are you all right, honey?" Linette asked with concern. "Fine , I'm fine ." "I just hate it when it goes down the wrong pipe." Kate said sympathetically as she patted Scully on the back, "What was it, a piece of ice?" "Yeah, some ice..." Scully sputtered as she fought to regain her composure. "I guess I wasn't paying enough attention to what I was doing," she said sheepishly after taking a big breath. "Happens to the best of us," Shari said with a giggle. "I'm Shari, this is Kate and Linette." She said as she offered Dana her hand. Scully shook hands all around and then introduced herself, "I'm Kathy." Scully rationalized "Nice to meet you, Kathy." Linette said, "Let me get you another drink, on the house." "Thanks, Linette." Scully said. "I didn't mean to ease drop, but I couldn't help over hear. What's the story with this guy you were talking about?" "You haven't heard the Mulder Story yet?" Shari exclaimed, staring at her as if she'd suddenly grown another head. Scully blushed slightly, "It's my first time here." "Ah, a virgin!" Kate said knowingly. "Well to begin with you'll have to forgive Shari. Sometimes she forgets that not everyone lives here like we do. I must tell you, you've got some incredible luck to pick tonight for your first time here." "Why's that?" "Because of that guy we were talking about, Fox Mulder." Linette broke in. "Once a week he comes in and takes over the stage for a night, and tonight just happens to be THE night for this week." Scully frowned, "And no one minds?" she said inquiringly. All three women laughed. "Mind!" Linette cried, "Kathy, LOOK at this place! Not only do people not mind, but they come from MILES around to hear him!" "He's that good?" Dana asked in disbelief. "He's that good." Kate confirmed solemnly. "Not only that but he's easily the most gorgeous creature you'll ever lay eyes on!" Shari interjected excitedly. "In case you couldn't tell, Shari's got a little bit of a crush," Linette said teasingly. "For all the good it does me!" Shari cried out good naturedly. "My name's not 'Dana Scully', I swear if I ever find that girl..." she trailed of menacingly. "Who?" Scully asked, feigning ignorance. "Dana Scully," Linette said, "is unarguably the reason we get to enjoy the handsome Mr. Mulder's stage presence. Hence the 'Mulder Story'. Apparently, he's been madly in love with this woman for almost six years and she doesn't know he exists!" "How could you miss those eyes?" Shari asked dreamily. "SIX YEARS!!! He's been coming here for six years!!!" Dana cried out in shock, her mind and heart reeling. "No," Linette replied nonchalantly, "actually only a little more than four and a half. And at first it was only once every couple of months. Lately though, it seems like hardly a week goes by before he comes ambling back on stage again. Not that that bothers us, but you have to wonder what kind of pain he's in that his only release is to pour his heart and soul out to a bunch of drunken morons through depressing love songs." "Wow, wax philosophic much, Linney? Why don't you have that psychology degree yet?" "Shut up, Kate." Linette said with a smile. "You know I've only got half a semester left." The girls continued to banter back and forth while Scully struggled To comprehend the bizarre information she'd just been presented with. [Because he's your friend.] her conscience chimed in. [Because he's your friend and he loves you and he wants you to be happy and have a 'normal' life. Something he knows he can never truly give you. Besides, knowing Mulder, he probably has it in his head that he doesn't deserve you "after everything he's put you through".] Scully paused thoughtfully, Scully shuddered at the thought of Phoebe Greene. she thought despairingly she thought in sudden panic Her thoughts were interrupted by the excited rustling that swept through the suddenly eerily quiet crowd. "He's here!" "Mulder's here!" "Shut up, he's here!" The whispers tossed back and forth conspiratilly. The room fell dead silent as a man shrouded in shadow moved from the doorway in the back corner up to the stage. Even though he was now fully covered by the limelight, the shadows still seemed to cling to him like a veil. His slightly bowed head looked skull-like under the hot floressant lights. If despair could choose a home, he would live in this man's hollow, empty eyes. Scully's heart cried out Just then he lifted his head and stared sightlessly out into the audience. "She's getting married..." he said in a toneless whisper into the microphone as he bent to pickup the battered guitar in the stand at his feet. The bar erupted into a well of sympathy and frustration. The reaction of the crowd sliced Scully to the bone. Mulder raised his hand to stop the more violent of the boos and hisses. "No," he said wearily, "no, please. It's not her fault. I have no one to blame but myself. I could've told her any time in the last six years how I felt about her, but I was to fucking chicken." "Tell her, Mulder!" Someone in the audience cried out. Mulder gave a self-depreciating sneer. "Right. That would go over real well. Oh, by the way Scully, now that you've found the man you want to spend the rest of your life with did I mention I'm in love with you? Now, why don't you give the nice doctor back his two carat diamond solitaire and we'll spend the rest of our happy little lives hunting gray space men together. What woman could resist that?" he asked sardonically. "I'll hunt gray space men with you Mulder!" Shari called out enthusiastically. "Thanks, Shari." Mulder said with a pathetic attempt at a chuckle, "I knew I could count on you for moral support." "Well, he just made the rest of her millennium," Kate said over the head of a beaming Shari to Linette while Scully tried to tamp down an irrational spark of jealousy. she thought logically "Moving on," Mulder said as he tuned his borrowed guitar. "Needless to say, this is not going to be happy song night. If you don't like what I play you'll just have to deal because I'm not taking requests at this point." And without warning he burst into song. Dana was awestruck. She'd never dreamed anyone could play like this! The notes that fell from his talented fingers where like living things that pulsed and grew, cocooning her in the gossamer strands of his pain and sorrow. The air glistened around him as if the music struggled to make it's self visible, the emotions it had to convey to intense to be restricted to a single sense. Even though he couldn't see her in the dark corner of the bar she'd secluded herself in, his heart called out to her. His anguish keened itself from strings of steel to pluck at the bindings of her own soul until each wailing note was like a physical pain. And just as suddenly as he had begun, Mulder cut his song off abruptly. A single crystal note danced shimmering in the air before wavering off into the echoing silence. The applause was deafening as people stood on their chairs and cheered. Scully struggled to breathe while Kate leaned toward her. "Wasn't that un-fucking-believable?" She screamed out to be heard over the din. "It was the most incredible thing I've ever heard in my life! Does he play that every time?" Scully yelled back. "Yep! But he can make it sound happy, sad, you name it! I've heard that little song of his a hundred times and even though he never changes a note every time it's different! Pretty amazing, huh?" "Yeah," Dana said quietly to herself as the crowd settled down, "pretty damn amazing." This time when Mulder launched into song it was one she recognized. She asked her self as the opening notes floated out over the crowd. Her surprise at his choice of musical genre faded into the background as his warm baritone wound itself around her. "When the rain is blowing in your face And the whole world is on your case I could offer you a warm embrace To make you feel my love..." His voice flowed like honey over the audience. She felt herself captivated by the sweet feel of his love washing over her. she asked herself "When evening shadows and the stars appear And there is no one there to dry your tears I could hold you for a million years To make you feel my love..." This verse was like a dagger to her heart. Images of Donnie Pfaster flashed through her head. "I know you haven't made your mind up yet But I would never do you wrong I've known it from the moment that we met No doubt in my mind where you belong..." "I'd go hungry, I'd go black and blue I'd go crawling down the avenue There's nothing that I wouldn't do To make you feel my love..." "The storms are raging on the rollin' sea And on the highway of regret The winds of change are blowing wild and free You ain't see nothing like me yet..." Scully chuckled to herself a little. Suddenly serious, she stood up from her bar stool and headed for the stage. "Kathy!" Linette hissed, "Where are you going?!" Dana ignored her and continued on toward her goal. "I could make you happy, make your dreams come true Nothing that I wouldn't do Go to the ends of the earth for you To make you feel my love..." Mulder let the final chord trail off into silence. He'd played the entire song with his eyes closed, immersed in the world of his own aching solitude. "Don't you think once to the ends of the earth is enough, Mulder? I don't want to have to drag you five miles to a snow cat again." For a spilt second he thought he was just imagining her voice, but the gasps of surprise that were echoing through out the room convinced him otherwise. His head jerked up and his eyes snapped open to find Dana Scully standing at the foot of the stage. His jaw dropped and his eyes widened in shock. The only thing that saved the guitar from a painful introduction to the floor was the strap around his neck because his hands had fallen to hang uselessly at his sides. He was so surprised that at first all he could do was stare dumbly at her. was all he could think as the lights twinkled on her flaming hair and her sapphire eyes pierced his heart. he thought in panic He swallowed thickly past his suddenly dry throat. "S-Scully, when did you get here?" Mulder berated himself silently. Scully reached up her hand and motioned to him to pull her up on stage. Mulder took off the guitar and hoisted her up. Once she was standing beside him she began to speak. "I've been here for about an hour." She said nonchalantly. "An hour?" Mulder squeaked. "I don't suppose I can claim they put hallucinogens in the water again, can I?" He asked sheepishly as Scully shook her head negatively. "Mulder!" "Chicken!" These and various other cries poured out of the crowd. Mulder thought. Reaching a decision, he took her hand and started toward the back door. "Scully, maybe we should go outside so I can explain..." The crowd protested loudly in outrage. Scully stood her ground and refused to be led. "Explain what, Mulder?" Scully asked as she looked up at him. Mulder stared down at their entwined hands while he answered, "What you heard-" he began only to be cut off by Scully pulling him into her embrace. For a split second he froze in shock before relaxing into her arms and pulling her closer. The air was filled with triumphant shouts and catcalls as the bar patrons leapt to their feet. But the only thing that existed for the two agents on stage was each other. An eternity and an instant later the two parted. Mulder reached a hesitant hand up to brush a strand of fiery hair off her face. "Scully, what...?" he began uncertainly. "Do you love me?" She asked so quietly he had to strain to hear. "Yes." He whispered painfully as he bent to rest his forehead on hers. "Then that's all the explanation I need." She said as she kissed him again. The bar erupted into thunderous applause while Shari, Linette and Kate hi-fived each other. "I can't believe she fell for it!" Shari laughed. "I know!" Kate replied through the haze of her own laughter. "As if we've spent five years listening to him cry over this woman and never saw a picture!" "Don't you just love happy endings?" Linette asked as she threw an arm around each of her friends. Fini. Visit my fanfiction, it gets lonely! http://DennysX.cjb.net